Recovery articles
Honest stories from men walking free.
83 articles written by men in our community — about the fight, the setbacks, and the grace that meets us there. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Latest · September 9, 2026
The Respect Men Are Starving For
Stephen Arterburn puts it plainly in The Secrets Men Keep: tell a man you love him, and if he feels disrespected, he won't buy it. Show him respect instead, and…
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Dean P. · 3 min read
The Echo Chamber of Bad Advice
Every person giving you advice has a stake in the outcome, whether they know it or not. Your friend who tells you to quit your job hates his own job. Your mother…
September 7, 2026
Dean P. · 6 min read
It Starts With One Message Then Everything Changes
It was about 4 a.m. when my phone cut through Do Not Disturb. I grabbed it, half asleep, already bracing for bad news. Seven missed calls… from a guy I had barely…
July 17, 2026
Dean P. · 4 min read
From Silence to Sexual Discipleship: Teaching What We Were Never Taught
There is a quiet gap in many homes and churches. Most people recognize it, even if they have never had words for it.
July 13, 2026
Gaven F. · 3 min read
Where We've Been
Have you ever looked back on your past? In the modern world most of our pasts are easy to keep track of. Social media keeps a daily log for some of us and for…
July 13, 2026
Dean P. · 5 min read
Run. Don’t Think. Run.
I’ve been considering how “lust” and “sexual temptation” don’t usually work the way we expect. Most of the time I don’t feel like I’m staring at some obvious enemy…
July 4, 2026
Gaven F. · 2 min read
About Step 7.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins
June 29, 2026
Dean P. · 6 min read
The Slop of Shame Can’t Cancel Sonship
I’ve been sitting with the story of the prodigal son, and the more I think about it, the more it feels like Jesus didn’t just tell a “family drama.” I keep coming…
June 29, 2026
Gaven F. · 2 min read
Singing A New Song
In recovery, it is easy to be brought down by the weight of our failures. When I began to sober up, I started seeing just how foolish I had been before. Any slip or…
June 19, 2026
Gaven F. · 3 min read
Where Our Attention Goes
As my wife and I were driving to work one day we found ourselves sitting at one of many red lights. The music on the radio was on break and talk show hosts were…
June 12, 2026
Gaven F. · 2 min read
A Mind Made Up
Have you done it? Have you made up your mind yet? God has made up his mind about you. But have you? There is in recovery what they call the “Rock Bottom”. This is…
May 29, 2026
Gaven F. · 3 min read
A Whisper In The Wind
Today while I was at work, I heard the sweet small sound of music in the distance. I was walking back into our building when I heard this, and it caused me to pause…
May 22, 2026
Gaven F. · 2 min read
The World In Front of Me
Just this past week, I had my first opportunity to watch the two of my kids…. At the same time, that is. I have watched my two-year-old plenty of times by herself.…
May 15, 2026
Gaven F. · 3 min read
The Perfect Parent
Over this past weekend, many of us participated in the celebration of Mother’s Day. A mom, a grandmother, an aunt, a family member, or someone who stood in as the…
May 11, 2026
Gaven F. · 3 min read
The Mountain of Right and The Valley of Wrong.
Have you ever been in an argument? Have you ever been in an argument you felt there was no way you could be wrong? Or maybe you have found yourself on the losing…
May 1, 2026
Gaven F. · 2 min read
“HELP! I’VE FALLEN, AND CAN’T GET UP”
If, like me, you were raised in the 80s and 90s, then you’re officially old.
April 24, 2026
Gaven F. · 3 min read
Kindled Wrath
One weekend my wife and I found ourselves at our wits end with each other. It seemed every day if not multiple times a day, we had something to bicker about. We…
April 17, 2026
Gaven F. · 2 min read
In Due Time
This past week, a revelation was given to me by God. As I was making my morning commute to work, I found myself behind a semi. Now my travel is not on the highway,…
April 10, 2026
Gaven F. · 2 min read
Be Angry, But Do Not Sin.
As a kid, my family dealt specifically with one emotion more than the others, Anger. In my family all the men on my father’s side have a temper. We all handle it in…
April 2, 2026
Gaven F. · 2 min read
When We Wake Up
I woke up this morning feeling a little bit more tired than normal. However, I was also feeling a little bit more motivated than normal. If you have been around…
February 20, 2026
Gaven F. · 2 min read
Strength in Numbers
When I first started recovery, I felt empowered like never before. A strength not found in my earlier attempts to break free from my addiction. I found unity in the…
February 19, 2026
Gaven F. · 3 min read
Recovery In Focus
How many times have you been told to “See” the other perspective of someone? How many times have you been told that you never “Think” about someone else’s feelings?…
January 10, 2026
Dean P. · 7 min read
450 Men and Counting: What I’ve Learned About Real Accountability
I have had the distinct honor of helping over 450 men with their struggles with sexual impurity and pornography. At the very beginning of our first phone call, I…
December 4, 2025
Dean P. · 3 min read
From Curiosity to Captivity: How “Soft” Addictions Become Chains That Bind
Addiction rarely arrives all at once. It usually creeps in—curiosity, boredom, or something society calls “harmless” opens the door. This piece looks at how small,…
December 3, 2025
Gaven F. · 3 min read
Bury, That which is Dead.
Throughout history, mankind has learned to deal with death in many different ways. In fact, one could argue that everyone is familiar with it in some way. Whether…
November 18, 2025
Dean P. · 3 min read
Look Where You’re Going
Teaching children to ride a bike is a moment filled with laughter, a few tumbles, and invaluable lessons. One of the most crucial pieces of advice we give them is…
November 18, 2025
Gaven F. · 5 min read
A Midnight Snack
Imagine just about any day you could have, a good one, a bad one, a “so-so” one, you could even imagine today. You wake up in the morning and begin to possibly get…
November 4, 2025
Gaven F. · 4 min read
The Danger of Being “Fine”
It rolls off the tongue effortlessly — a convenient answer, a way to avoid uncomfortable conversations. But let’s be honest: when we say we’re “fine,” more often…
November 4, 2025
Dean P. · 3 min read
The Never-Ending Journey
Recovery is not a destination—it’s a lifelong journey that shifts, stretches, and humbles us in ways we never expect. When I first joined this program, I was broken…
November 4, 2025
Dean P. · 2 min read
GO AND SIN NO MORE
In John 8, the Bible tells us the story of the woman caught in the very act of adultery. It is striking that only she was forced to face this firing squad of stones…
October 13, 2025
Dean P. · 4 min read
8,000 STEPS TO STUPID
We all want to enjoy life and achieve good things, right? None of us sets out to be foolish or to make bad choices that lead to pain, shame, failure and regret. So,…
August 26, 2025
Dean P. · 3 min read
What to Do After a Slip or Relapse
First, it's important to clarify the difference between a slip and a relapse. A slip is defined as a one-time event, while a relapse refers to a repeated occurrence…
July 17, 2025
Dean P. · 2 min read
My Cup Overflows
Recently, I've done a lot of traveling. Throughout my life, I've been on many flights, and there’s always that moment during the flight when the flight attendant…
July 3, 2025
Dean P. · 1 min read
Tonight, the Empty Chair Echoes
Its presence speaks of memories, of moments shared with grace,
April 16, 2025
Dean P. · 2 min read
Drowning in Despair: The Struggle Against Addiction and the Fight for Survival
They say that if you try to save someone who is drowning, and they begin to grab onto you in their panic, they can inadvertently pull you under as they struggle to…
March 19, 2025
Dean P. · 2 min read
Serving or Savoring? The Call to Prioritize Our Connection with God
In Luke 10:41, we meet Martha, who is so busy trying to serve her guest that she forgets to spend time with him. This story reminds us of our own lives, where we…
February 26, 2025
Dean P. · 2 min read
The Great Calm in the Storm
In Mark 4:39, we find Jesus resting in a boat when a fierce storm suddenly arises. It’s important to note that several of His disciples were experienced fishermen,…
February 25, 2025
Dean P. · 3 min read
Beyond Approval: Embracing Boundaries and Authenticity
Do you ever find yourself saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”? Do you feel responsible for keeping others happy, even at the cost of your own well-being?
February 9, 2025
Dean P. · 2 min read
The Reckless Love of God
"For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our…
February 9, 2025
Dean P. · 3 min read
The File Room of My Past
In a quiet corner of my mind, there exists a dimly lit room—a file room, to be precise. The air is thick with dust, and the faint smell of old paper permeates the…
January 27, 2025
Dean P. · 1 min read
Distracted from Recovery: The Pitfalls of Staying Busy
I went to Walmart yesterday with my wife. We were both busily checking off our shopping list, rushing to make last-minute preparations for a forgotten holiday…
January 4, 2025
Dean P. · 2 min read
“Little” White Lies
Samson was an Israelite judge known for his immense strength, a gift from God. Even from a young age, he demonstrated extraordinary abilities. As a young man, he…
January 4, 2025
Dean P. · 1 min read
Lessons from Samson in recovery
Surely we have all heard the Sunday school stories, countless lessons, and enumerable amounts of sermons preached on Samson. As a child he was my favorite bible…
December 25, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
Late Nights Lead to Bad Habits
In the modern world, late nights often serve as a double-edged sword. While they can be a time for relaxation and personal reflection, they can also usher in a…
December 22, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
Gratitude in Recovery: The Legacy of Alcoholics Anonymous and Its Impact on Sex Addiction
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has been a beacon of hope and recovery since its inception in 1935, providing support for individuals struggling with alcoholism. Founded…
November 28, 2024
Dean P. · 2 min read
Scarred, but still standing.
A few years ago, I started therapy, specifically designed for people with trauma. It was incredibly helpful for me; it truly helped me understand the pain from my…
November 26, 2024
Jared W. · 5 min read
What the Potter Can Do with the Powder
I rest my weary body in the church pew after a tiresome week of life. When I arrived this morning, I came with the worries of unpaid bills, unconquered struggles,…
November 11, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
Learning to See God’s Grace
Could it be that the struggle with lust can truly be an act of grace? That may seem like an oxymoron, but the question formed in my mind after hearing men discuss…
October 17, 2024
Dean P. · 1 min read
Opportunities Lost: Valuable Lessons from Companies That Strayed
3. If you resist evolving with the times, you risk becoming obsolete.
October 17, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
The Heart of a Minister: Navigating Compassion and Heartache in Addiction Recovery
In the realm of addiction recovery, compassion serves as a cornerstone for healing. For many, this compassion is embodied in the figure of a dedicated minister, for…
August 17, 2024
Dean P. · 1 min read
Three Clicks from a Felony
Recently I had a chance to sit down and chat with the pastor of a church based out of Ohio, he shared the story of a congregant from that church, the man had been…
August 2, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
Working Step 8
Today’s meeting is the first meeting of the month which is typically a “Step Study” of the corresponding month.
August 1, 2024
Walking Free · 5 min read
It started when I was nine years old
Unfortunately, I started watching pornography at a very young age. I started when I was nine years old, when a classmate introduced me to it, describing it as…
July 29, 2024
Walking Free · 1 min read
I stand by the door.
Recently I was shared the following poem, it speaks to me about many things, but near the top of this list is my recovery journey. In many avenues of my life I…
July 10, 2024
Dean P. · 1 min read
Somedays are a crawl!
Martin Luther King, Jr.: “If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. Whatever you do, keep moving forward.”
July 9, 2024
Dean P. · 1 min read
Learning From Mistakes
And if grape juice turns sour, it turns into wine, which is even more expensive than grape juice.
June 24, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
The Power of Unconditional Love: A Lesson from the Prodigal’ Brother
We are almost all familiar with the parable of the prodigal son. There are three main characters in this story: the Prodigal, His Father, and The Prodigal's…
June 21, 2024
Walking Free · 2 min read
Be Careful Little Eyes What You See
. Dean's own commentary is copied in full. See the live post for the complete text.]
June 18, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
The Pursuit of Perfection vs. the Reality of Progress
Addiction recovery is a challenging and complex journey that often required us to confront our deepest struggles and make significant changes in many areas of life.…
April 15, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
It Takes a Village to Raise an Idiot
In todays topic, we will explore the role of community in personal growth
April 14, 2024
Gaven F. · 2 min read
The Hoarders House
As a child I had grown up with a fair amount of TV, cartoons, shows, and movies..., some of which I found both equally captivating and horrifying. One show in…
April 3, 2024
A.H. · 2 min read
Just Use Your Imagination
Imagination is a powerful tool. It's what has shaped the modern world as we know it. Technologies and modern methods have been shaped by the imaginations of men and…
March 30, 2024
Walking Free · 1 min read
Never Alone
Romans 12:4-5 (NLT) 4 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we…
March 29, 2024
Walking Free · 2 min read
The Poison of Resentment
A friend once told me, "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." In essence, resentment is comparable to drinking poison. When we…
March 29, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
Burn the ships boys
Once upon a time in the year 1519, a Spanish expedition led by the courageous explorer Hernán Cortés set sail to the unknown lands of Mexico. The journey was filled…
March 27, 2024
Walking Free · 3 min read
The Theory of Connection: The Enemy of Addiction
Addiction is a complex and pervasive issue that affects individuals and communities worldwide. Understanding the underlying causes and effective strategies for…
March 25, 2024
Dean P. · 2 min read
Better off Broken
Kintsugi is a traditional Japanese art form where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Instead of throwing away the damaged item, it is celebrated and made even…
March 20, 2024
Dean P. · 2 min read
The Roof Is Caving In
As a child of about 5 or 6 years, I remember, quite vividly, watching the New York Mets and the Boston Red Sox playing against each other in the World Series. My…
February 25, 2024
Dean P. · 1 min read
The Lion on a Leash
”Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.“
February 23, 2024
Dean P. · 1 min read
My True Value
This is a photo of a 1000 gram iron bar. It's raw value is around $100.
January 25, 2024
Dean P. · 1 min read
Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly
The other day I stayed several steps behind my daughter watching her trying to learn to skate. I say "trying" because she was falling more than she was staying on…
January 15, 2024
Jarad C. · 1 min read
Life is a marathon, not a sprint
God brought his people out of Egypt and into the promise land, but that was a process. It wasn’t quick. It took time. It took time because of their own decisions,…
January 14, 2024
Dean P. · 3 min read
Failure is in fact an option
Have you ever heard the saying “Failure is not an option?” I get the sentiment, but is it actually an option? This phrase was made most recently popular in a film…
January 9, 2024
Dean P. · 2 min read
A Solid "Why"
I remember the day I decided I wanted to be sober from alcohol and drugs. I drank maybe a total of five times in my entire life, and never tried recreational drugs.…
December 24, 2023
Dean P. · 2 min read
0-60 in 3.5 seconds
One time I rented a Tesla.. 0–60 MPH in 3.5 Seconds.. but they don’t stop there.. they go faster, even illegally fast when you are passing a semi on the interstate,…
December 14, 2023
Dean P. · 3 min read
Avoiding Titanic Catastrophe’s
I’ve been thinking a lot about step 10.. maybe it’s because I struggle with both being overly content, and seemingly high levels of discontentment all at the same time!
December 13, 2023
Walking Free · 5 min read
Intimacy, what is it?
It seems that the word is often misused in today’s society. The word “intimacy” or “intimate” is used a lot to discuss sexual relations with one another. The…
November 15, 2023
Dean P. · 2 min read
My "Precious"
Loneliness and rejection have always driven me to my “Old Friend”
November 14, 2023
Walking Free · 2 min read
Phone Muscles
During a recent conversation, a fellow in recovery mentioned he was making the call, not because he was in danger of acting out or in a bad place, but because he…
August 28, 2023
Dean P. · 1 min read
The Man, The River, & The Flood
Sometimes I remind myself of the story of the man that lived by the river.
August 22, 2023
Dean P. · 5 min read
Meeting topic: Those Tricky Little Foxes & Annoying Broken Windows
“Take us the foxes, The little foxes that spoil the vines, For our vines have tender grapes.”
March 29, 2023
Walking Free · 6 min read
The Elephant in the Room
It’s happened to all of us. The week has been going great, no talk of addiction, no questions, and she is even smiling. Then it happens. You may be in a restaurant,…
March 27, 2023
Walking Free · 2 min read
Sex Addiction Best Practices
IMMEDIATELY: Recommended activities to begin your journey of recovery.
December 7, 2022